Yes, H&M’s bike shorts meant to be worn as an “outside garment” are perfect for this. Size up as they have little stretch, but they really work very well. The elastic is flat and lightweight and not tight or intense, I almost think it’s elasticized cotton rather than an elastic band, if that makes sense.

That’s true…kind of. (I don’t think my income or approach is at all unusual for women on this site, and I specifically said I was an attorney). I didn’t reply acerbically to anyone but you because these are real concerns women should be weighing.

But assuming that other women—especially women here!—are relying on a “meal ticket hubby,” with all of the negative assumptions about women that that phrase rolls in, was a bridge too far. I would strongly encourage you to…not assume that all women are destitute little ladies who are solely reliant on their husbands, and while you work on that little bit of internalized misogyny, I would encourage you not to say condescending things out loud (or online) that reveal that you hold that assumption.

Not sure any of this is true in this situation. Often pensions are negotiated during divorces. You are making a lot of generalizations.

I don’t know you but what I sense is you are not a parent, not divorced and not a woman. Until you are in that role, or work extensively with those who are, I suggest you save your martyrdom for someone else. As a divorced mother, the system is heavily stacked against us and during the past 5 years it’s only gotten worse.

You do realize that women who divorce with children are financially screwed when it comes to retirement because it’s mothers predominantly who step up and support the kids at the cost to their own future. I don’t see him willing to share his pension which, often with these roles, are quite generous to make up for the lower salary, but he has been quite happy to let his ex wife pay for childcare during her time with his child so she can accommodate his schedule. Let’s start holding men accountable. Women who are doctors and nurses don’t have accommodations made for them. What makes this guy think he is so special?

Part Time – sadly, you are not typical. Most women in their 20s and 30s do not have big law income (and I don’t know if you had help with college/law school loans etc…) and meet a successful enough husband that after they are married they can keep all pre-marital assets tucked and secure. You may resent our questions, but I think the vast majority of intelligent and successful women on this site were no where near your level of security at your age. In fact, it is nearly impossible for most career tracks/incomes.

And that’s leading me to say – well done. Amazing job. You have played the game well, and won. Keep your money invested. Still agree on making sure husband has enough life insurance and then live the life you want to live.

I appreciate the concern, but I saved aggressively while single and in big law. Those assets remain separate property and have grown to be sufficient to sustain a lifestyle I am very comfortable with if my husband and I separated, using the 20x annual expenses rule. In other words, I wrote my *own* meal ticket in my 20s/30s.

The assumption that a SAHM didn’t financially prepare herself to be a SAHM really grinds on me. I am not uncommon; every woman I know who has stepped back has done this or otherwise protected herself, and it’s kind of condescending to assume otherwise in 2024. It reminds me of that Cher quote — “ My mom said to me, ‘You know, sweetheart, one day you should settle down and marry a rich man,’ and I said, ‘Mom, I am a rich man.”. Surely we’ve made it past the point of assuming that every woman who spent years as a lawyer is relying on a “meal ticket hubby” to get by, instead of her own financial success and responsibility.