While we've talked a lot about therapy over the years at Corporette, we haven't highlighted couples therapy before, so today we're sharing tips on why and how to start couples therapy. We turned to an expert — Sara Miller, MS, LCPC, of Confluent Relationship Therapy in Chicago — for advice for readers considering couples therapy.

Miller answered our questions about signs you and your partner could benefit from couples therapy, various couples therapy methods, tips on finding/screening a therapist, and more.

So, before you dive into the trusty Psychology Today therapist database or start googling, check out Miller's tips!

Why and How to Start Couples Therapy

Corporette: When are some signs that it's time to try couples therapy?

Sara Miller, MS, LCPC: There is never a bad time to start couples therapy, or therapy in general! If there aren’t any presenting concerns that the couple is wanting to work on, preventative therapy can be used to ensure a healthy, long-lasting union. However, if clients are using couples therapy as an intervention for current relationship issues, there might be some signs that it’s time to seek help:

Many couples believe fighting is a warning sign of relationship destruction, but this is not necessarily the truth. What to look out for is the ability to work through or manage conflict. Every relationship has conflict, but what makes a functional relationship is the ability to communicate about it in a healthy way, overcome gridlock, and come to a compromise. If couples cannot manage or work through conflict, it’s time to see a couples therapist.

Also, within conflict, there are solvable problems and perpetual or unsolvable problems, such as personality differences. If couples can not navigate these differences together, it is wise to seek help.

Another warning sign to start couples therapy is if couples notice the following destructive behaviors that Dr. John Gottman of Gottman Method Couples Therapy labels, “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” These are: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. All four are counterproductive to positive communication and a healthy relationship dynamic.

{related: making time for therapy}

What are the main types/styles of couples therapy, and how do you know which will work best for you and your partner? Should you ask therapists what method(s) they use?

The most commonly used that are practiced today include: Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Solution-Focused Couples Therapy, and Imago Relationship Therapy. Although there are more modalities and theoretical orientations, these are the most popular you hear clinicians using on a regular basis.

There are also variations of individual therapy modalities that can be formatted for couples work, such as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (Cognitive-Behavioral Couples Therapy), Narrative Therapy (Narrative Couples Therapy), and Mindfulness-Based Therapy (Mindfulness-Based Couples Therapy), but are less common. Many eclectic or integrative clinicians use multiple styles and tailor the approach to the needs of the client.

Additionally, there are clinicians licensed in sex therapy, but they go through specialized training and supervision to become certified sex therapists. There also is couples therapy for use in addictions work, but that is usually in the context of individual therapy where the clinician will utilize the partner to help with the individual treatment.

It would be hard for clients that do not work in the mental health field to know exactly which approach would work best for their relationship, but they can certainly do their research before starting with a clinician so they can participate in the treatment-planning process.

It would be beneficial for clients to ask about the clinician’s theoretical approach before starting, because there are some clinicians that strictly use a singular approach; however, most have multiple approaches. An ethical clinician will screen the clients through the intake process and if they do not provide the approach that is needed for the clients, they should be referring them to someone who is experienced in that area.

{related: how to cope with anxiety: reader tips}

How important is it to choose a therapist who specializes in helping couples? Is it better if they have a certain type of degree, such as LMFT?

The degree and license requirements vary by state, so the clients should do research first to know which clinicians are licensed in their state to provide couples therapy or therapy services in general. Usually, the degree does not matter as much as the license does, but in most states the clinician needs to have a master’s degree in a mental health field in order to be eligible to attain their license.

Licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFT) can certainly conduct couples therapy, but licensed counselors (usually LCPC, LPCC, or LPC), licensed social workers (usually LCSW), and licensed psychologists can specialize in couples work as well. There are also different titles for provisionally licensed clinicians and interns that are under supervision working towards independent licensure.

From all of the above licenses listed, there is no one that is better to suit couples therapy, but rather what a client should be looking for is experience and specialized training or certifications. For example, The Gottman Method has four levels of certification from the Gottman Institute.

How many therapists should you “try out” before settling on one?

Completely personal preference on this one. Sometimes clients will start with a clinician and realize they would rather be with a clinician that they can identify with, or who has a similar background to them. If the first clinician they try out feels like a good fit, it would not make sense to shop around. However, if both of the clients in the relationship are not able to establish rapport with the clinician, they could see if another person might be a better fit with their dynamic.

Outside of therapeutic modalities, most clinicians also have a specific interpersonal approach they use that usually aligns with their philosophy on the counseling relationship (i.e., directive, collaborative, etc.).

{related: how to cope at work (when other things are going on)}

What are the most important screening questions to ask?

1. “How long have you been doing therapy with couples?” This one is important, because sometimes clinicians change their specialty mid-career, so they could have 20 years of therapy experience but only a few years of experience specifically working with couples.

2. “What specialized training do you have in couples therapy?” Does the clinician have additional training specifically in couples therapy?

3. After you inform the clinician of what your relationship concerns are, ask the clinician, “Do you have experience working with couples that have our same relationship concerns?” For example, there are couples therapists that do not have a lot of experience working with infidelity or relationship trauma.

Also, if you are currently in a nontraditional relationship orientation, make sure the clinician has experience in working with that type of relationship. There are many couples therapists that do not have experience working with open, ethically non-monogamous, or polyamorous clients.

4. “Will I be working directly with you for therapy? And if not, who?” Sometimes at large group practices, the practice owner, an intake coordinator, or administrative assistant will conduct the phone consultation or answer initial emails, so it’s important to know who you will be working with. Find out information on the clinician you'll be with before committing to start.

Once you start therapy, is it better to start talking about the big relationship issues you're dealing with, or start slowly with more minor things?

Every clinician may have a different plan on discussing the relationship issues, but my philosophy is to lay it all out there on day one. During the intake process, I ask clients to list everything they want to work on so there are no hoarded feelings or resentments about the relationship that aren’t in the plan for discussion.

I also conduct quantitative relationship assessments that open up the dialogue for additional underlying relationship concerns or even dynamics that clients may not have been aware of themselves. With therapy in general, after all of the concerns are laid out and treatment has begun, it's best to prioritize what is having the biggest impact on client functioning. However, there is no exact science, and every couple's needs are different.

{related: sneaky signs of burnout}

Is there anything else you'd like to add — tips or otherwise?

I highly recommend all couples to also be supplementing couples therapy with individual therapy on their own. Sometimes we are limited in the work that we can accomplish in couples therapy if one or both partners are struggling with individual concerns that are impacting the relationship.

Another tip for couples therapy is to have patience! It takes time to make sustainable changes and/or undo years of a dysfunctional relationship dynamic. That’s why it’s always a good idea to start couples therapy right away before years of toxicity weighs a relationship down, otherwise it takes much longer to reverse the course.

Readers, do tell: Have you ever gone to couples therapy (or are you considering it)? If so, did it help with your relationship issues?

Stock photo via Pexels / fauxels.

The post Why and How to Start Couples Therapy: Q&A with a Couples Therapist appeared first on Corporette.com.

Note from Kat: My good friend T and I were talking about our various struggles, and I was surprised when she mentioned that she's struggled with binge eating disorder for a long time. As we talked more I had some misconceptions, so I asked if she would be willing to write about it for everyone here. HUGE, HUGE thanks to T for putting this together — it's a great guide if you're unfamiliar and/or curious about the disorder.

Readers, do any of you struggle with eating disorders in general or binge eating disorder in particular? What resources have you found to help you, and where are you in your journey right now?

T's Experience with Binge Eating Disorder

For elder millennials and young Gen-Xers, the unit on eating disorders was a big deal in high school health class. I still remember a lot of details from those particular classes — more than our 1990s-era lessons on smoking, drinking, AIDS, etc. (OK, I also can't unsee the grisly photos of STI symptoms blown up larger than life on the projector screen.)

We learned about the harmful (and fatal) effects of anorexia and bulimia, such as lanugo (I'll never forget that word!) and dental problems, and teachers explained that teenagers with anorexia restrict their eating to such an extreme degree because other aspects of their lives feel out of their control. (That's an oversimplification, but they really drilled that into our heads.)

The teachers didn't tell us anything about binge eating disorder (BED), and even today, the phrase “eating disorder” probably makes most people think of anorexia. Binge eating disorder didn't have a standalone diagnosis in the DSM until 2013; before that, it was part of “EDNOS: Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.” A decade later, it's the most common eating disorder, but, as The New York Times explained earlier this year, it's “under-discussed and underrecognized by both the general public and those in the medical field, partly because many don’t know about the diagnosis or its potential severity.

Especially because of that lack of awareness, I'm hoping that writing about my experiences can help readers with binge-eating issues by (potentially) prompting them to seek help — or at least be comforted in a small way by recognizing aspects of their own behavior. I also hope that readers with partners or family members who have BED can get some insight from what I've shared.

{related: office stress vs. your diet}

What Is Binge Eating Disorder?

Binge eating disorder goes far beyond simple overeating or “emotional eating.” BED does not mean going out to eat and eating a lot more than you planned (gotta discreetly undo that pants button, and maybe skip dessert), or “Whoops, I just finished a whole sleeve of Thin Mints while watching Netflix.”

BED is more along the lines of sitting (or standing at the counter) in your kitchen alone while shoveling food into your mouth on autopilot, not taking the time to savor it, but enjoying the dopamine boost. When you're done, you suddenly realize the huge amount you just ate, leaving you feeling ashamed (not to mention gross physically). Then you hide the food wrappers, etc. If it's bedtime, you may not even want to lie down right away, to avoid heartburn. Good times.

(Bonus: If you finished food that your partner or someone else was saving, you're likely to quickly buy more and replace it before they notice, adding to the secrecy around your behavior.)

For a description on the more “professional” side, diagnostic criteria for BED include recurrent episodes of binge eating, at least once a week for three months, according to the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA). The episodes are characterized by:

1. Eating, in a discrete period of time (e.g., within any 2-hour period), an amount of food that is definitely larger than what most people would eat in a similar period of time under similar circumstances.
2. A sense of lack of control over eating during the episode (e.g., a feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating).

NEDA notes that the binge episodes are associated with key behaviors and feelings such as (1) “Eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry,” (2) “Feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed, or very guilty afterward,” and (3) “Eating alone because of feeling embarrassed by how much one is eating.” (BED is not linked with purging like bulimia is, but it can develop into bulimia.)

The same NEDA webpage also gives a long list of warning signs and symptoms, a few of which are (1) “Feels lack of control over ability to stop eating [during binges],” (2) “Frequent checking in the mirror for perceived flaws in appearance,” and (3) “Disruption in normal eating behaviors, including eating throughout the day with no planned mealtimes; skipping meals or taking small portions of food at regular meals; engaging in sporadic fasting or repetitive dieting.”

{related: how to eat healthy while working from home}

How Can You Get Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder?

If you read that webpage from NEDA, or a similar list like this one from The Cleveland Clinic, and everything — or almost everything — rings true, I recommend printing it out, checking off every symptom/characteristic that applies to you, and bringing it to a doctor or therapist. With it right there in front of both of you in black and white, you may find it easier to talk about, and depending on the provider, they may take you more seriously. If you speak to a therapist and don't have much luck, try your primary care doctor, or vice versa.

I'm in my 40s, and I've had issues with basic emotional eating for almost 20 years. I'm not sure when my behavior “officially” developed into BED, but for many years on and off, I've definitely “qualified.” I've never been officially diagnosed, but reading the BED criteria gives me the feeling of “Yes, that is me exactly.”

Frustratingly, a few of my former therapists didn't seem to take my concerns seriously, probably in part because the person sitting in front of them wasn't way higher than their recommended weight range. (At my highest, I was about 30 lbs. more than I am now.) I'm thinking it's safe to assume that some (many?) mental health providers unfamiliar with BED have a particular vision in mind of a person who weighs, say, 300+ pounds.

In fact, it's common to have weight fluctuations with BED. It's not always a case of gaining more and more weight, because the binge-and-restrict cycle is common. You worry about gaining weight after you've been bingeing, so you restrict your food and stay “good” for a while, maybe losing some weight… and then you're triggered by something and “give in” and start bingeing again, and so on, ad nauseum (ha, no pun intended).

Comorbidities are also common with binge eating. Research has found that some mental health conditions are associated with BED, such as anxiety, mood disorders, substance abuse, and PTSD, and that about 30% of people with BED have a history of ADHD. *raises hand*

{related: the best ways to relax after a stressful day}

Recovering from Binge Eating Disorder

While of course substance abuse and alcohol abuse are incredibly hard to recover from, stopping binge eating brings its own complication. If you want to never drink again, that's something that (in theory) you can one day accomplish, and abstain for the rest of your life. If you want to stop bingeing, however, the object of your “addiction” is inescapable. You have to eat for the rest of your life, so food will always be there.

For example, if you live with someone who always happens to have your trigger foods around, it would be unfair, not to mention embarrassing, to say, “Hey, please don’t buy ice cream sandwiches anymore, because I can’t control myself when they’re in the freezer, and I'll just eat them all.’” (When you have the compulsion to binge, you sometimes don't care WHOSE food it is — and afterward, you pile on more guilt.)

That aside, here are some things that may help you cope with BED:

1. Work with a therapist: With the Psychology Today therapist directory, you can filter by issue, such as “eating disorders.” Many experts recommend cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) for BED.

2. Try a self-help book (or two): I just checked my Amazon order history and found that I bought, um, FIVE binge-eating self-help books from 2014–2018. They didn't “work” (the ones I actually read, that is), but they've gotten really good reviews, and they might work for you! If you'd prefer a book that doesn't focus on weight loss, read summaries and reviews carefully.

• Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth
• Never Binge Again by Glenn Livingston, PhD
• Reclaiming Yourself from Binge Eating by Leora Fulvio
• Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat by Michelle Ma, MD, and Kari Anderson DBH, LPC
• How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans Too (ugh, that title) by Josie Spinardi

3. Connect with people with BED online: The subreddit r/BingeEatingDisorder is a good place to start, and it has strict rules for the well-being of its 70,000+ members.

4. Plan a week of meals ahead of time: This will reduce the number of food decisions you'll have to make during the week (avoid decision fatigue!) and provide structure. A dietitian can help, and The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics has an online directory with telehealth and in-person providers.

5. Sorry to sound like an ad, but: Ask your doctor about Vyvanse (lisdexamfetamine). Vyvanse is expensive, but you can get a savings card from the manufacturer. Note: When I took Vyvanse for ADHD (it didn't do much for my binge eating), I used a savings card with our high-deductible plan, and it was still $300+ per month. *sad trombone noise* But this year, finally, the patents expire, so here's hoping for a generic soon!

6. Don't keep trigger foods in the house: This has helped me the most, and I really wish I could do it more, but for one, because of my teenager, there's always ice cream, chips, etc., around.

7. Postpone your binges: If you really want to eat a particular food that you know you will trigger a binge (whether the food is in your house or you have to go buy it), tell yourself, “Not today. I can have it tomorrow instead.” It's easier to avoid a trigger food by telling yourself you can have it in the future rather than creating an absolute. (It's the same strategy as stopping yourself from immediately buying something online by putting it in your cart instead.)

8. Try affirmations: Avoid potentially harmful ones like “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” in favor of one of these 100 (!) options. Even if you're not an affirmations person (I'm not), you might find one or two you can tolerate, and try them. (I'd love to be able find a good substitute for “Hey, self, life is really hard lately, so I deserve this huge amount of sugary food right this minute!”)

9. Create little barriers: If you've you've had a filling dinner, brush your teeth. (Waiting 30 mins. is best for some foods, so it's a trade-off.) It gives a cue that you're done eating for the night. And when you get home from work, put on pajamas, so that if you later want to go out and buy food for a binge, you'll have to get dressed again first. (I know, I know, delivery.)

{related: open thread: on drinking too much, jobs that encourage drinking, and drinking because of job-related stress}

How to Get Immediate Help for Eating Disorders

ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) has a free helpline available from Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. CST: 1-888-375-7767

NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association) ended its helpline in June 2023, unfortunately, but suggests several other resources.

MEDA (Multi-Service Eating Disorders Association) has an online Recovery Community. If you create a free account, each month you get access to the online library and all forums, and at least seven recovery tools, four webinars, and three meditations.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is free and available 24/7.

The post What to Know About Binge Eating Disorder appeared first on Corporette.com.

A recent threadjack inspired us to share some reader suggestions on how to cope with anxiety — including tips both from that thread and comments on our past posts about anxiety. You're probably familiar with some of them, but we're sure you'll find something you haven't tried. (Did you know that May is Mental Health Awareness Month? We're pretty sure every month should be Mental Health Awareness Month…)

What have you found to be the best ways to cope with anxiety? What have you tried that hasn't helped you?

Reader Suggestions on How to Cope With Anxiety

The Usual Suspects

• Therapy! Contacting your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is a simple way to start (well, usually; it depends on your company's provider). Also check out this NYT article from 2022 for great tips on finding a therapist right now.
• Medication! Here's some basic info on anxiety meds, from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. (Also, for some “humor therapy,” check out this La La Land-inspired, Emmy-winning song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: “Anti-Depressants Are So Not a Big Deal.)

Exercise

Readers especially recommend these activities:

• Kickboxing
• Running
• Peloton
• HIIT
• Dance
• Yoga
• Pilates (I tried this myself recently and really enjoyed it.)

{related: guaranteed laughs: how to deal with anxiety through laughter}

Outdoor Time

• Hiking (Here are our tips for gear!)
• Taking a long walk — even while on a phone call with a friend
• Gardening (I have zero gardening expertise, but I find weeding to be cathartic…)

Personal Care/Self-Care

First off, here are two great lines about self-care that I've seen online: (1) Self-care is more than bubble baths, and (2) Self-care is anything your future self will thank your present self for doing (as noted by a psychotherapist in this article in Allure).

I've also heard good things about this new book by Pooja Lakshmin, M.D.: Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) [affiliate link].

All that said, here are some reader favorites:

• A visit to a spa (Here are some reader-favorite treatments.)
• A home spa day
• A massage (Related: Here's Elizabeth's Theragun review — my husband really likes his, too.)

Mental Techniques

• Meditation (Try these apps.)
• Breathing techniques, e.g., the 4-7-8 technique
• The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne [affiliate link]
• Dbt911 app (Android only)
• For our lawyer readers: Stress reduction classes aimed at lawyers, e.g., “Mindfulness For Lawyers in a Time Of Stress” (NYSBA)
• Give yourself a set amount of time to worry, and then put your thoughts aside for the time being. (Try these tips from Thrive Global; also check out the WorryTree app.)

{related: dealing with anxiety (post-interview or otherwise)}

Everyday Habits

• Drink less caffeine. (Here are some teas Kat recommends.)
• Drink less alcohol — or cut it out entirely. (Here are Kat's recs for mocktails.)
• Try to keep a regular sleep schedule. (We — and the readers — offered tips on tackling insomnia in this post.)
• Cut down on social media — or quit entirely. (Check out our advice on taking a social media break.)

Extra Tips from Kate & Kat

• Try the progressive muscle relaxation technique. It's a simple and quick way to feel more physically relaxed.
• Grounding, also known as earthing, is making contact with the ground by placing your hands on or lying down on it, swimming, etc. (There isn't much research on this yet, and some say the benefits may be a placebo effect, but it's worth a try!)
• Do a brain dump: When you have a ton of thoughts swirling around your head, grab a piece of paper and write everything down. You don't even have to organize the tasks/thoughts or tackle them right away; simply writing them down gets them out of your brain.
• Kat likes a meditation tool called TRIPP that offers 10-, 20-, and 30-minute sessions for relaxation. It's available for VR devices, mobile, and web, and offers a free demo.

{related: how to cope with anxiety when you're busy}

Readers, do tell: What are your favorite ways to cope with anxiety? Which of the ones above have worked for you?

Stock photo via Stencil.

The post How to Cope with Anxiety: Reader Tips appeared first on Corporette.com.

The last two years have transformed how many of us think about personal comfort and appearances — like wearing high heels, for example — so here's today's related question: How have your hygiene habits changed since the start of the pandemic? We did an open thread a LONG time ago called “thoughts on bathing,” but let's make this one specific to post-2019 world we're all living in.

So, do tell! In a typical week, how often do you wash your hair, shower, bathe, and shave — and how has this changed over the last two years? If you've returned to the office after working from home for a long time, have you gone back to your usual workday morning routine from the Before Times, or not?

{related: how often do you wash your hair?}

For me, at the height of the pandemic, I definitely lowered my expectations for how I looked when I (rarely) went out — to the grocery store, for example. My thoughts typically were, “It's a pandemic! Who cares that this bedhead clearly shows I haven't showered today?” I didn't quite get to the “wearing pajama pants in public” stage, but hey, it could have happened. My work-from-home outfit typically consisted of a graphic tee, a comfy zip top like my Columbia Sherpa fleece (soooo soft), and fuzzy pajama pants. (Zoom calls were rare, clearly.)

Here's some brief context for our discussion:

Washing your hair: There's no magic number for how often you should wash your hair, as this Cleveland Clinic article explains. However, it's not a good idea to use dry shampoo more than two or three times a week, as a dermatologist told Real Simple.

Washing your body: This Harvard Health Publishing article notes that Americans have a different view on bathing and showering than many other cultures, in that most of us shower daily. The website notes, “showering several times per week is plenty for most people (unless you are grimy, sweaty, or have other reasons to shower more often” and pointed out “daily showers do not improve your health [and] could cause skin problems or other health issues.” (How about you, readers? Do you tend to develop dry skin when you shower daily?)

{related: how long do you spend on your hair for work?}

So, let's discuss! Compared to the Before Times, how have your hygiene habits changed, if at all? How often do you shower, bathe, wash your hair, and shave? What about appointments for things you usually “outsource,” like brow or bikini waxing? Do you take less care with your appearance in general — for example instead of straightening your hair daily only doing it for “important” days?

{related: do you have a new “beauty minimum” post-kids? [CorporetteMoms]}

Stock photo via Deposit Photos / VitalikRadko.

The post How Have Your Hygiene Habits Changed Since the Start of the Pandemic? appeared first on Corporette.com.

What is the “right way” to take a mental health day? I've seen a LOT in popular media lately that I'm having kneejerk reactions to as NOPE, but I'm not sure the “old” way to take a mental health day is correct either. So let's discuss.

To back up a bit: we already discussed generational divides in the workplace and the recent NYT story, “38-Year-Olds are Afraid of their 23-Year-Old Employees.” But one quote from the story, I think, deserves its own post:

Ali Kriegsman, 30, co-founder of the retail technology business Bulletin, wasn’t sure, in the past, how to respond when her Gen Z employees insisted on taking days off for menstrual cramps or mental health: “Hey I woke up and I’m not in a good place mentally,” went the typical text message. “I’m not going to come in today.” Instinctively Ms. Kriegsman wanted to applaud their efforts to prioritize well being — but she also knew their paid time off could undercut business.

I had a visceral reaction to reading that. I've felt those emotions myself (overwhelmed, anxious, depressed), but I still feel like that's not the way you take a “mental health day.”

I also saw a Facebook meme that said, “I want us to normalize ‘I cannot work today because I am not in the mental space to engage with others' and that be okay.” Which — yeah! As a person with feelings I totally agree with that. BUT… society (and most businesses) just do not run that way.

In my day (I'm a Xennial born in 1977), if you weren't in the mental space to engage with others, you called in sick with a vague ailment and worked from home that day. If you had to go in because Reasons, you put on your resting bitch face, shut the door to your office if you needed to, and played Solitaire on the computer until you had to do something for real.

It looks like back in 2018, Alison at Ask a Manager would have agreed with me:

With “mental health days” — meaning a day that you take off to relieve stress/avoid burnout or when you just can’t face the world — say that you’re “under the weather” or “a bit ill.” You can’t really call up and say, “I can’t bear the thought of coming into work today,” but you also shouldn’t make up a hacking cough. It's fine to just be vague. (In fact, it’s fine to be vague even when you have an actual sickness like the flu or horrific diarrhea or whatever. Decent managers will accept “I’m sick today and won’t be in” rather than expecting or even wanting a detailed list of your symptoms.)

Just since 2018, though, I feel like there's been a lot of movement in this space, particularly with noteworthy people normalizing the concept of being proactive about you mental health. Simone Biles, Naomi Osaka, and other celebrities have recently made headlines for advocating for mental health awareness, for example.

If you think you're going to need a lot of mental health days, it might be worth looking into workplace accommodations, which may be available for “psychiatric disabilities.” (Verywell Mind has a list of those disabilities.) Here's some further reading on it from the U.S. Department of Labor — it lists accommodations (such as sick leave, more breaks), modifications (private offices, room dividers), equipment requests (white noise, organizer programs), job duties (removal of non-essential job duties, division of large assignments into smaller tasks and goals), and management accommodations (positive reinforcement, more frequent meetings, additional forms of communication), etc.

So I guess these are my tips:

The Right Way to Take a Mental Health Day

1. If it's last minute and unplanned, call in sick with a vague ailment (“I'm not feeling well today” works!) and promise to do what you need to from home. (This may mean check your email every 4 hours or so to make sure balls aren't dropped and urgent questions are forwarded to someone else.)
2. If you anticipate that you'll need frequent mental health days, seek accommodations and modifications pursuant to the Department of Labor's list above. (Or, as commenters have noted, just schedule a PTO day off.)

(Obviously, if it's planned vacation or other anticipated leave (e.g., maternity, surgery, etc) then set your out of office email and enjoy whatever time off means for your office — in some offices that still means checking email once a week or so, so know your office.)

Readers, what say you — what is the right way to take a mental health day? If you've taken a mental health day at work, what was your technique? If you manage people, what have you seen others doing that strikes you as the “right way” to take a mental health day?

Stock photo via Stencil.

The post The Right Way to Take a Mental Health Day appeared first on Corporette.com.

Readers had a great comment thread earlier this year about the best things you've done for yourself that have made you happier, and we thought it deserved its own post!

So, what things have you done — big or small — that have improved your life and made you happier? What changes did you make? What did you stop or start doing? We'd love to know!

We've rounded up many readers' answers below — and we've linked to past posts with related info and advice.

The Best Things Readers Have Done for Themselves That Made Them Happier

Improving Physical Health

• Lifting weights
• Getting regular exercise
• Starting an active hobby
• Walking to work or biking to work
• Reducing sugar intake
• Cutting out — or cutting back on — alcohol
• Seeking diagnoses for health problems (we had a whole discussion on where to start if you're exhausted and have no energy)
• Getting more sleep
• Getting massages
• Doing yoga
• Seeing doctors regularly
• Taking vitamins, probiotics or using CBD

{related: little things that make us happy}

Improving Mental Health

Of course, a lot of the things listed above boost your mental health, too!

• Taking medication for anxiety
• Going to therapy
• Meditating
• Making sure to breathe and relax
• Trying to avoid drama
• Choosing to be happy
• Letting go of the small stuff

{related: how to cope with an emotional hangover}

Improving Your Appearance

• Going to a dermatologist for acne treatment
• Getting microneedling for acne scars

{related: what are your best habits? which are habits you're trying to break?}

Miscellaneous

• Hiring a cleaning service (This was a popular one!)
• Working from home (Another popular one!)
• Making more friends
• Adopting a dog

Readers, if you didn't chime in on that comment thread (or if you did and have more to say!), do tell: What are the best things you've done for yourself that have made you happier?

Stock photo via Stencil.

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