Readers who have stopped doing things you thought you “should”: What advice would you give on how to give less f*cks? A reader started an interesting thread a few months ago by saying she was “Looking for ‘f it' attitude things,” and there were some really great answers, so let's talk about it today!

Editor's Note: I think it would physically pain me not to point out that we're aware “how to give fewer f*cks” would be the grammatically correct phrase — but that would sound silly. /nitpicking

Lots of women say that reaching their 40s (or thereabouts) helped them developed a general “f*ck it” attitude. (See the poem “Warning” by Jenny Joseph — you know, the classic purple + red hats one.) Becoming a parent can also help — and it starts during labor and childbirth, when your inhibitions quickly go out the window.

One light and silly example: As a 40-something, I really do not care if random people think it's odd that I'm middle-aged and sometimes wear Hello Kitty shirts or earrings. (Come on, she's just so cute!) That isn't to say that I entirely left behind any self-consciousness when I bid farewell to my 30s, because, no — but I care less about a lot of things.

{related: do you have a new “beauty minimum”? [CorporetteMoms]}

The pandemic and resulting pivot to remote work also made a big impact on many women's ideas of how they “should” look and dress. Remember all those articles declaring “Women have stopped wearing bras!” and “Women have stopped wearing high heels!”? We did a post on this in mid-2020, in fact — and readers also shared their thoughts on it in this comment thread from 2021.

Along those lines, here's a sampling of things readers mentioned in the more recent thread that they no longer do — or have never done:

• Social stuff: Finding the “perfect” gift, saying yes to social events you don't want to attend, holding on to unwanted gifts rather than regifting/donating
• Appearance stuff: Caring about your weight, covering grays, removing body hair, wearing expensive clothes/makeup, wearing a coverup at the beach
• Work stuff: Baking/cooking for office potlucks, working late or on weekends if not necessary
• Home stuff: Going all-out for holidays, making your home pristine before hosting

Of course, some people love to do many of these things (I really enjoy finding the perfect gift and decorating a lot for holidays, for example), while others prefer to kick 'em to the curb.

{related: do, delegate, NOPE: holiday edition [CorporetteMoms]}

So, readers, do tell: What do you say “f*ck it!” to? What things did you used to find important (or think you should find important) but now couldn't care less about? Which of the habits in the bulleted list have you ditched — or love to do?

The post How to Give Less F*cks appeared first on Corporette.com.

While we've talked a lot about therapy over the years at Corporette, we haven't highlighted couples therapy before, so today we're sharing tips on why and how to start couples therapy. We turned to an expert — Sara Miller, MS, LCPC, of Confluent Relationship Therapy in Chicago — for advice for readers considering couples therapy.

Miller answered our questions about signs you and your partner could benefit from couples therapy, various couples therapy methods, tips on finding/screening a therapist, and more.

So, before you dive into the trusty Psychology Today therapist database or start googling, check out Miller's tips!

Why and How to Start Couples Therapy

Corporette: When are some signs that it's time to try couples therapy?

Sara Miller, MS, LCPC: There is never a bad time to start couples therapy, or therapy in general! If there aren’t any presenting concerns that the couple is wanting to work on, preventative therapy can be used to ensure a healthy, long-lasting union. However, if clients are using couples therapy as an intervention for current relationship issues, there might be some signs that it’s time to seek help:

Many couples believe fighting is a warning sign of relationship destruction, but this is not necessarily the truth. What to look out for is the ability to work through or manage conflict. Every relationship has conflict, but what makes a functional relationship is the ability to communicate about it in a healthy way, overcome gridlock, and come to a compromise. If couples cannot manage or work through conflict, it’s time to see a couples therapist.

Also, within conflict, there are solvable problems and perpetual or unsolvable problems, such as personality differences. If couples can not navigate these differences together, it is wise to seek help.

Another warning sign to start couples therapy is if couples notice the following destructive behaviors that Dr. John Gottman of Gottman Method Couples Therapy labels, “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” These are: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. All four are counterproductive to positive communication and a healthy relationship dynamic.

{related: making time for therapy}

What are the main types/styles of couples therapy, and how do you know which will work best for you and your partner? Should you ask therapists what method(s) they use?

The most commonly used that are practiced today include: Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Solution-Focused Couples Therapy, and Imago Relationship Therapy. Although there are more modalities and theoretical orientations, these are the most popular you hear clinicians using on a regular basis.

There are also variations of individual therapy modalities that can be formatted for couples work, such as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (Cognitive-Behavioral Couples Therapy), Narrative Therapy (Narrative Couples Therapy), and Mindfulness-Based Therapy (Mindfulness-Based Couples Therapy), but are less common. Many eclectic or integrative clinicians use multiple styles and tailor the approach to the needs of the client.

Additionally, there are clinicians licensed in sex therapy, but they go through specialized training and supervision to become certified sex therapists. There also is couples therapy for use in addictions work, but that is usually in the context of individual therapy where the clinician will utilize the partner to help with the individual treatment.

It would be hard for clients that do not work in the mental health field to know exactly which approach would work best for their relationship, but they can certainly do their research before starting with a clinician so they can participate in the treatment-planning process.

It would be beneficial for clients to ask about the clinician’s theoretical approach before starting, because there are some clinicians that strictly use a singular approach; however, most have multiple approaches. An ethical clinician will screen the clients through the intake process and if they do not provide the approach that is needed for the clients, they should be referring them to someone who is experienced in that area.

{related: how to cope with anxiety: reader tips}

How important is it to choose a therapist who specializes in helping couples? Is it better if they have a certain type of degree, such as LMFT?

The degree and license requirements vary by state, so the clients should do research first to know which clinicians are licensed in their state to provide couples therapy or therapy services in general. Usually, the degree does not matter as much as the license does, but in most states the clinician needs to have a master’s degree in a mental health field in order to be eligible to attain their license.

Licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFT) can certainly conduct couples therapy, but licensed counselors (usually LCPC, LPCC, or LPC), licensed social workers (usually LCSW), and licensed psychologists can specialize in couples work as well. There are also different titles for provisionally licensed clinicians and interns that are under supervision working towards independent licensure.

From all of the above licenses listed, there is no one that is better to suit couples therapy, but rather what a client should be looking for is experience and specialized training or certifications. For example, The Gottman Method has four levels of certification from the Gottman Institute.

How many therapists should you “try out” before settling on one?

Completely personal preference on this one. Sometimes clients will start with a clinician and realize they would rather be with a clinician that they can identify with, or who has a similar background to them. If the first clinician they try out feels like a good fit, it would not make sense to shop around. However, if both of the clients in the relationship are not able to establish rapport with the clinician, they could see if another person might be a better fit with their dynamic.

Outside of therapeutic modalities, most clinicians also have a specific interpersonal approach they use that usually aligns with their philosophy on the counseling relationship (i.e., directive, collaborative, etc.).

{related: how to cope at work (when other things are going on)}

What are the most important screening questions to ask?

1. “How long have you been doing therapy with couples?” This one is important, because sometimes clinicians change their specialty mid-career, so they could have 20 years of therapy experience but only a few years of experience specifically working with couples.

2. “What specialized training do you have in couples therapy?” Does the clinician have additional training specifically in couples therapy?

3. After you inform the clinician of what your relationship concerns are, ask the clinician, “Do you have experience working with couples that have our same relationship concerns?” For example, there are couples therapists that do not have a lot of experience working with infidelity or relationship trauma.

Also, if you are currently in a nontraditional relationship orientation, make sure the clinician has experience in working with that type of relationship. There are many couples therapists that do not have experience working with open, ethically non-monogamous, or polyamorous clients.

4. “Will I be working directly with you for therapy? And if not, who?” Sometimes at large group practices, the practice owner, an intake coordinator, or administrative assistant will conduct the phone consultation or answer initial emails, so it’s important to know who you will be working with. Find out information on the clinician you'll be with before committing to start.

Once you start therapy, is it better to start talking about the big relationship issues you're dealing with, or start slowly with more minor things?

Every clinician may have a different plan on discussing the relationship issues, but my philosophy is to lay it all out there on day one. During the intake process, I ask clients to list everything they want to work on so there are no hoarded feelings or resentments about the relationship that aren’t in the plan for discussion.

I also conduct quantitative relationship assessments that open up the dialogue for additional underlying relationship concerns or even dynamics that clients may not have been aware of themselves. With therapy in general, after all of the concerns are laid out and treatment has begun, it's best to prioritize what is having the biggest impact on client functioning. However, there is no exact science, and every couple's needs are different.

{related: sneaky signs of burnout}

Is there anything else you'd like to add — tips or otherwise?

I highly recommend all couples to also be supplementing couples therapy with individual therapy on their own. Sometimes we are limited in the work that we can accomplish in couples therapy if one or both partners are struggling with individual concerns that are impacting the relationship.

Another tip for couples therapy is to have patience! It takes time to make sustainable changes and/or undo years of a dysfunctional relationship dynamic. That’s why it’s always a good idea to start couples therapy right away before years of toxicity weighs a relationship down, otherwise it takes much longer to reverse the course.

Readers, do tell: Have you ever gone to couples therapy (or are you considering it)? If so, did it help with your relationship issues?

Stock photo via Pexels / fauxels.

The post Why and How to Start Couples Therapy: Q&A with a Couples Therapist appeared first on Corporette.com.

Have you decided to focus more happiness this year? Today we're rounding up a few great books about happiness and the pursuit thereof. Don't worry, no “good vibes only!” toxic positivity here — these books go beyond the typical “how to be happier” platitudes. Two of the books are aimed at everyone, and the third is for parents (plus a bonus rec for a free course at the end which, coincidentally, begins enrollment today).

Are you trying to boost your happiness this year by taking a social media break or leaving social media all together? (I have actually gotten some good mental health advice from therapists on TikTok, FWIW…) Taking mental health days as needed? Finding a fulfilling hobby? Trying meditating? Making time for therapy? Making more time for friends? (A new study found a boost to “life satisfaction” of even small social interactions like greeting or thanking someone!)

Either way, these books can help! In the past, we've also discussed how your career affects your happiness and rounded up what readers say are the best things are that they've done to improve their happiness.

Readers, have you read any books on happiness, including what seems to be the mother of all happiness self-help books, Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project? What are your favorites?

Psst: If you have books to recommend (on any self-help or career topic!), shout ’em out in the comments!

3 Books About Happiness and the Pursuit of Happiness

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

By Jen Sincero, 2013, (Amazon/Bookshop)

Since her very popular You Are a Badass came out in 2013, Jen Sincero has expanded it to branded coaching, speaking events (with her “signature brand of motivational comedy”), a guided journal, a planner/organizer, and notecards, well as two more books: You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth, You Are a Badass Every Day, and Badass Habits (all on Amazon).

This book, the original, can help you identify self-sabotaging behaviors and generally become more self-aware; substitute bad habits for good ones; tackle your doubt; set honest goals while still pushing yourself a bit, and focus on them regularly; and so on. (Yes, it does venture into “manifesting” territory there, but I suppose manifestation is a spectrum.)

Sincero offers bits of advice that may not be revelations but are still useful reminders, like “If you want to live a life you've never lived, you have to do things you've never done,” and uses humor throughout the book.

Praise for You Are a Badass:

• “Sincero brings a fun, feminine verve to now well-tread self-help tropes. … The tone is far more feisty than academic, and there's humor on every page, all of which is exactly what her intended audience most needs.” — Publishers Weekly
• “Sincero … brings a fun, feminine verve to now well-tread self-help tropes, offering a promising new title in the genre that's not as completely irreverent as it sounds.” — Publishers Weekly
• “If you’re in the need of a jumpstart, something to remind you that your authentic, individual, totally irreplaceable self is, in fact, badass, then this is the book for you. … [I]t’s prompted me to get going on several projects I never thought I’d actually accomplish.” — San Francisco Book Review

{related: how to improve your happiness [CorporetteMoms]}

The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking

By Oliver Burkeman, 2013 (Amazon/Bookshop)

If you're skeptical about “happiness books” in general, you might want to try The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking. In an NPR interview, the author, a Guardian writer named Oliver Burkeman, said he's not a fan of typical self-help books. “[T]here's a lot of research now to suggest that … saying positive affirmations to yourself in the mirror can make you feel worse and that visualizing the future can make you less likely to achieve it,” he said.

Burkeman advises people to avoid advice that tells you to avoid negative feelings or negative words, “manifest” your desires, or simply expect to be happy and cheerful. Instead, he writes, we should embrace failure, uncertainty and so on, and cites various sources who believe that the relentless pursuit of happiness results in just the opposite.

Praise for The Antidote:

• “Burkeman's tour of the ‘negative path' to happiness makes for a deeply insightful and entertaining book.” — The Los Angeles Times
• “A fascinating, wide-ranging exploration of negativity, positivity, failure, success and what it means to be happy.” — Kirkus Reviews
• “Burkeman’s ability to present sentiments in fresh, delightfully sarcastic packaging will appeal to the happy, the unhappy, and those who have already found a peaceful middle ground.” — Publishers Weekly

How to be a Happier Parent: Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute

By KJ Dell'Antonia, 2018, (Amazon/Bookshop)

If you're a parent, you might remember the Motherlode blog at The New York Times and recognize the name of KJ Dell'Antonia, its former editor and a mother of four. Using that experience, the many interviews she has done with parents over her career, and a lot of research, she wrote How to Be a Happier Parent in 2018.

In an interview with Your Teen, Dell'Antonia said, “I thought about the things I could do to make parenting more fun. But I was looking at lists, and I’m like, ‘I don’t want to do fun things. I hate fun things. I don’t want to do anything else; I just want the things I’m doing to suck less.' It was the book that I wanted to read and also the book that I wanted to write.”

In trying to help readers find joy in parenting (no, not ALL the time!) Dell'Antonia's book focuses on nine key areas that families struggle with: homework, chores, screen time, sibling conflicts, and more. She offers small ways to make them better and shares how to do more by doing less.

Praise for How to Be a Happier Parent:

• “[I]t is about giving yourself permission, as a parent, to prioritize and work toward your own happiness, even if that means your children don’t get 100 percent of your attention and energy and money 100 percent of the time.” — The Chicago Tribune
• “We can be happier parents — if, that is, we understand what gets in our way and what we can change. With real advice and fascinating science, this book helps you be the parent you want to be.” — Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit
• “Dell’Antonia’s writing style is friendly, funny, and always understanding. She’s not going to judge how your family does things—she’s simply offering a less stressful alternative that might bring you greater happiness as a parent.” — Your Teen

“The Science of Well-Being” — the Yale Course

Here's a bonus recommendation!

You may have heard of the incredibly popular “Yale happiness course” that now has a free online version called “The Science of Well-Being.” Available on Coursera, it starts enrolling today! (You can get access to all the course materials for free, but a $49 fee earns you a shareable certificate.)

The course is designed to increase your happiness and boost your productivity, eventually helping you “successfully incorporate a specific wellness activity into your life.” You can find out more in detail by checking out a couple of articles that summarize and review the course from Business Insider and iNews.

Here's the course by the numbers:

• 4.9 stars from 37,000+ Coursera reviews
• 10 weekly modules of 1–3 hours each (videos, readings, and more)
• 8 quizzes
• 19 hours to complete (on a flexible schedule)

There's also a version for teens!

Stock photo via Stencil.

The post 3 Great Books About Happiness appeared first on Corporette.com.

Today we're talking about how to feel comfortable in your own skin, inspired by a reader comment. A few months ago, a reader asked a question in the comments about her negative body image and how she doesn't feel comfortable in her own skin. She asked if there are options other than therapy that could help her address the issue. Readers gave her a lot of great advice on body neutrality and other ideas, so we thought we'd round it up today.

We'd love to hear your thoughts, too: How do you feel about your body? Have your feelings changed as you've gotten older? What are your tips for a more positive (or neutral) body image?

First, here are some stats about body image:

• In a 2011 Glamour survey, 97% of women reported at least one “I hate my body” moment during the 24 hours they tracked their thoughts. [Glamour]
• In a 2021 study, 76% of U.S. adults said that the media promotes an unattainable body image for women. [YouGovAmerica]
• Only 11% of U.S. women aged 45 and older are satisfied with the appearance of their body. [Medical News Today]
• 43.7% of women over 60 report considering cosmetic surgery. [NOW] (See this guest post about a reader's positive experience with rhinoplasty.)
• Researchers analyzed 250 studies performed between 1981 and 2012 and found that women’s body dissatisfaction fell by an average of 3.3 points. [The Cut]

Reader Advice on How To Feel Comfortable In Your Own Skin

Know that the BMI chart is not a helpful tool.

For millions of people in the U.S., BMI does not correlate to health. One problem is that BMI doesn't distinguish between body fat and muscle mass — but muscle is denser than fat. Also, the classifications (“overweight,” etc.) are mostly based on Caucasian body types. This NPR article explains additional drawbacks of BMI. (A note for parents: The growth charts used by pediatricians also aren't as useful as you might think, as explained in this NYT article.)

Learn about body neutrality and Health at Any Size.

Here's how this Healthline article explains body neutrality: “This movement acknowledges that you may not love your body day in and day out while emphasizing that this is absolutely OK. You can accept your body as it is, even when you don’t exactly love it.” For many people, it's a helpful alternative to body positivity. This Well+Good article explains that HAES is a “a social justice framework that respects the diversity of body shapes and sizes, supports inclusive health care, and rejects weight discrimination and stigma against larger bodies.”

Also, check out the #bodyneutrality hashtag on Instagram and TikTok.

{related: body image as a mom}

Follow “midsize” fashion accounts on Instagram.

A reader recommended wardrobe_oxygen, alexlight_ldn, victoriagarrick, karsoncamielle, and katiesturino, who recreates celebrity outfits in XL sizes. This 2021 Harper's Bazaar article recommends 20 plus-size and midsize fashion content creators to follow, and this 2019 Hello Giggles piece lists 18 plus-size women of color to follow on Instagram. (It may also be helpful to browse r/instagramreality on Reddit to see how many influencers alter their bodies, sometimes drastically, in their social media photos.)

{related: 4 fashion stores that use real women as models}

Don't feel guilty for being unhappy with your body.

Try not to see your negative perspective as a personal failure. Feel those feelings and then move on, perhaps to a fitness goal you can work toward. One reader's examples were running a mile in a certain time, or running a particular distance, or doing a certain number of pull-ups. Also, recognize that it's tough to escape the influence of the many aspects of society that can contribute to a negative body image, including social media.

Love your body as an action, not a feeling.

The reader who shared this excellent strategy specifically recommended exercise, healthy and delicious food, a massage, and a luxurious bath now and then.

(related: the best strength training workouts to do at home}

Try to ignore size numbers on clothing.

Concentrate on how something fits rather than the size you “should” be. One reader shared a “silly” tactic that works for her — buying clothing in non-U.S. sizes. (Don't forget that women's sizing makes no sense! Grrr.)

Recognize that you're not the only the person who has trouble finding clothes that fit.

One reader shared that she has to have all of her dress pants, pencil skirts, and sheath dresses tailored. Tailoring your clothes to fit better can go a long way toward making you feel more positive about how you look. (We've talked about suiting alterations, general alterations, and custom workwear in the past, as well as sewing patterns for workwear.)

Focus on how to feel better about yourself in ways that don't involve losing weight.

A reader shared that she puts her energy into her skin, hair, and so on.

{related: feeling “too fat” to interview (reader-submitted question)}

If nothing you've done has helped (or you're simply ready for outside help), consider therapy.

Yes, unfortunately, therapists are in short supply right now, but try searching Psychology Today's Find a Therapist feature by choosing the filters “eating disorders” or “weight loss” or perhaps “women's issues.” If you don't feel that you have an eating disorder, using that filter may find you the right therapist anyway.

But if you do suspect you have an eating disorder and need help, you can chat, call, or text the National Eating Disorders helpline. If you're in crisis, text “NEDA” to 741741 to be connected with a trained volunteer at their Crisis Text Line.

{related: the best websites and apps for online therapy}

Find bras that fit correctly.

(This is my own suggestion.) Bras that fits well can make a big difference in how you look in clothes — and they'll feel more comfortable, too! See our post on how to buy a bra that fits. Also, checking out Reddit's r/ABraThatFits is a must if you need sizing help.

Consider Amazon's Prime Try Before You Buy (my review from 2018, when it was called Amazon Prime Wardrobe, is here) to try on a bunch of bras at once without paying up front. They offer a seven-day free try-on. Note that ThirdLove (my review is here) offers half sizes (although Bare Necessities says that half sizes “don't exist”) and has a great return policy.

Readers, what are your thoughts — what are your best tips on how to feel comfortable in your own skin? Have you gone through a learning/readjustment process here as well?

Further Reading and Resources

• NEDA: National Eating Disorders Association
• HAES: Health at Any Size
• 4th Trimester Bodies Project (NSFW): “a documentary and movement dedicated to educating, embracing and empowering humans through photographs and storytelling”
• Books: Ditch the Diet: The 7 Essential Habits You Need to Get Lean, Stay Healthy, and Generally Kick Ass at Life and Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach (affiliate links)
• “Body Positivity Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Does” [Refinery29]
• “What Is Body Neutrality, Exactly?” [Shape]
• “Diet culture is everywhere. Here's how to fight it” [NPR]
• “Breaking Down the ‘Wellness-Industrial Complex,’ an Episode at a Time” (about the podcast Maintenance Phase) [NYT]
• “We surveyed over 4,250 people on body image, weight and dieting — and the results are surprising” [Good Housekeeping]
• “Gender Dysphoria Symptoms: Here's How to Know if You Have It” [Health]

Stock photo via Stencil.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

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What is the “right way” to take a mental health day? I've seen a LOT in popular media lately that I'm having kneejerk reactions to as NOPE, but I'm not sure the “old” way to take a mental health day is correct either. So let's discuss.

To back up a bit: we already discussed generational divides in the workplace and the recent NYT story, “38-Year-Olds are Afraid of their 23-Year-Old Employees.” But one quote from the story, I think, deserves its own post:

Ali Kriegsman, 30, co-founder of the retail technology business Bulletin, wasn’t sure, in the past, how to respond when her Gen Z employees insisted on taking days off for menstrual cramps or mental health: “Hey I woke up and I’m not in a good place mentally,” went the typical text message. “I’m not going to come in today.” Instinctively Ms. Kriegsman wanted to applaud their efforts to prioritize well being — but she also knew their paid time off could undercut business.

I had a visceral reaction to reading that. I've felt those emotions myself (overwhelmed, anxious, depressed), but I still feel like that's not the way you take a “mental health day.”

I also saw a Facebook meme that said, “I want us to normalize ‘I cannot work today because I am not in the mental space to engage with others' and that be okay.” Which — yeah! As a person with feelings I totally agree with that. BUT… society (and most businesses) just do not run that way.

In my day (I'm a Xennial born in 1977), if you weren't in the mental space to engage with others, you called in sick with a vague ailment and worked from home that day. If you had to go in because Reasons, you put on your resting bitch face, shut the door to your office if you needed to, and played Solitaire on the computer until you had to do something for real.

It looks like back in 2018, Alison at Ask a Manager would have agreed with me:

With “mental health days” — meaning a day that you take off to relieve stress/avoid burnout or when you just can’t face the world — say that you’re “under the weather” or “a bit ill.” You can’t really call up and say, “I can’t bear the thought of coming into work today,” but you also shouldn’t make up a hacking cough. It's fine to just be vague. (In fact, it’s fine to be vague even when you have an actual sickness like the flu or horrific diarrhea or whatever. Decent managers will accept “I’m sick today and won’t be in” rather than expecting or even wanting a detailed list of your symptoms.)

Just since 2018, though, I feel like there's been a lot of movement in this space, particularly with noteworthy people normalizing the concept of being proactive about you mental health. Simone Biles, Naomi Osaka, and other celebrities have recently made headlines for advocating for mental health awareness, for example.

If you think you're going to need a lot of mental health days, it might be worth looking into workplace accommodations, which may be available for “psychiatric disabilities.” (Verywell Mind has a list of those disabilities.) Here's some further reading on it from the U.S. Department of Labor — it lists accommodations (such as sick leave, more breaks), modifications (private offices, room dividers), equipment requests (white noise, organizer programs), job duties (removal of non-essential job duties, division of large assignments into smaller tasks and goals), and management accommodations (positive reinforcement, more frequent meetings, additional forms of communication), etc.

So I guess these are my tips:

The Right Way to Take a Mental Health Day

1. If it's last minute and unplanned, call in sick with a vague ailment (“I'm not feeling well today” works!) and promise to do what you need to from home. (This may mean check your email every 4 hours or so to make sure balls aren't dropped and urgent questions are forwarded to someone else.)
2. If you anticipate that you'll need frequent mental health days, seek accommodations and modifications pursuant to the Department of Labor's list above. (Or, as commenters have noted, just schedule a PTO day off.)

(Obviously, if it's planned vacation or other anticipated leave (e.g., maternity, surgery, etc) then set your out of office email and enjoy whatever time off means for your office — in some offices that still means checking email once a week or so, so know your office.)

Readers, what say you — what is the right way to take a mental health day? If you've taken a mental health day at work, what was your technique? If you manage people, what have you seen others doing that strikes you as the “right way” to take a mental health day?

Stock photo via Stencil.

The post The Right Way to Take a Mental Health Day appeared first on Corporette.com.

Readers had a great comment thread earlier this year about the best things you've done for yourself that have made you happier, and we thought it deserved its own post!

So, what things have you done — big or small — that have improved your life and made you happier? What changes did you make? What did you stop or start doing? We'd love to know!

We've rounded up many readers' answers below — and we've linked to past posts with related info and advice.

The Best Things Readers Have Done for Themselves That Made Them Happier

Improving Physical Health

• Lifting weights
• Getting regular exercise
• Starting an active hobby
• Walking to work or biking to work
• Reducing sugar intake
• Cutting out — or cutting back on — alcohol
• Seeking diagnoses for health problems (we had a whole discussion on where to start if you're exhausted and have no energy)
• Getting more sleep
• Getting massages
• Doing yoga
• Seeing doctors regularly
• Taking vitamins, probiotics or using CBD

{related: little things that make us happy}

Improving Mental Health

Of course, a lot of the things listed above boost your mental health, too!

• Taking medication for anxiety
• Going to therapy
• Meditating
• Making sure to breathe and relax
• Trying to avoid drama
• Choosing to be happy
• Letting go of the small stuff

{related: how to cope with an emotional hangover}

Improving Your Appearance

• Going to a dermatologist for acne treatment
• Getting microneedling for acne scars

{related: what are your best habits? which are habits you're trying to break?}

Miscellaneous

• Hiring a cleaning service (This was a popular one!)
• Working from home (Another popular one!)
• Making more friends
• Adopting a dog

Readers, if you didn't chime in on that comment thread (or if you did and have more to say!), do tell: What are the best things you've done for yourself that have made you happier?

Stock photo via Stencil.

The post The Best Things You’ve Done for Yourself That Have Made You Happier appeared first on Corporette.com.