If the person in question isn’t a manager, you might just want to give HR a heads up, like “I’ve experienced some issues with Samantha missing deadlines. It’s probably worth mentioning to her manager in case she has questions about missed orders.” A casual mention will put it on the record without making you look like a big whiny butt.

Exactly.

Not the same thing as an exit interview, but here are some examples from my own experience.

–I turned down a job in another field because someone was openly telling racist jokes in a public space. Some of the managers were racist, too, one mistook me for a woman who had worked there for years who looked nothing like me, but the person telling the joke was a consultant. I only mentioned him when I explained why I was not accepting the position. I learned years later that the guy got fired.

Another employee at the company, with whom I worked a few years later at a different company in a completely different part of the country, actually had the nerve to complain to me about how I had been responsible for the man losing his assignment.

I was dumbfounded. I said, “Did you expect me to ignore a man loudly telling a racist joke in the middle of [a public area]?” The guy continued to think I was a cruel, hypersensitive bitch.

–As a summer associate, another summer associate asked me to speak to the head of the summer associate program because of something very disturbing that had happened. We spoke to other summer associates and they all nodded about how unfortunate it was, but not a single one offered to come with us. It was very uncomfortable, but something was done. Neither one of us went back to work at the firm, although fortunately, we both got offers.

Obviously, it was easier to complain in both of these scenarios than at the end of a permanent employment relationship, but it still was not easy.

I hate free riders. On the occasions that they come crying about some injustice that’s finally happened to them I have no sympathy.

I agree. It shocks and depresses me that so many women here think that doing nothing is the answer. If a structure supports an unreasonable person who also is racist or sexist, a subordinate is unlikely to be able to “handle the situation” except by leaving.

That excuse of “it’s the alcohol talking” doesn’t hold water. Criminals use it all the time, and if a court of law won’t accept it, you shouldn’t either. I am sorry, but saying “I was drunk” is a lie. You are the same person if you are drunk, but with less ability to choose your words carefully, or to filter your comments. If what was said was just said rudely that’s one thing. But what he said was probably the truth, it is just hard to admit that.