Thank you so much everyone for your thoughtful comments and suggestions. I sincerely appreciate everyone’s perspective. This community is such a special place. <3

My husband and I did this early in our marriage due to our job constraints. I was doing my residency and had to go where I ‘matched’ which was more than 500 miles away from my husband’s job. Both have to be committed to make time for each other and I agree with other posters that it is hard to sustain it forever. After my first year of residency, my husband went overseas for job and we were away for more than 2 years. He used to fly back every 2-3 months for few days. When he moved back to the US, he did telecommuting but spending a week every month at his company office. After unsuccessfully trying to start family we realized that something need to give – and my husband left his very successful career since I was still in the middle of training and unfortunately medicine is very rigid in the career path; taking a break affects rest of your career. Even after several rounds of IVF, we were unable to conceive. Sometimes I wonder whether there would have been a better outcome if we had tried harder earlier and whether it was too late by the time we even started. We are still together happily married and my husband has never regretted his decision. But I wish there were other options for us to be together at the same place.

The manageing partner gives me chocolate alot, even tho he knows Dad is worried about the size of my tuchus.

I think I have to agree. Even in the best of times, you have to have a FULL TIME HUSBAND b/c we have need’s that MUST be satisfied by our husband, and those needs have to be fulfiled as and when they arise, which we can NOT bank on happening when he is in town. The same goes for men. If we are not there to satisfy there need’s, they will take up with another woman who is available to satisfy those need’s. That is why long-distance relationships will NOT work unless one or both partner’s have no s-x drive.

When I was dating Sheketovits, I knew he was useless, but b/c of my need’s, he always was physically there to satify them when they arose. By the same token, I was there to satisfy Sheketovits’s need’s, which was pretty much whenever he was there.

I hope thing’s work out for you and your boyfreind, but I am concerned that either you or he (or both) will find other person’s to satisfy your need’s.

Yep. I was long-distance for the first 9 months of dating my now-husband (of nearly 20 years) and nearly went crazy because I was crazy about him, and couldn’t imagine being away from him any longer. By the time I moved to his city I was willing to be a barista, if that’s what I had to do. I think I’ve said this here before: marriage is hard and if you don’t go into it with a strong emotional connection and a sense of “We really, really want to be together” I am not sure how you make it work long-term. Remembering how hard it was to be away from him during that first 9 months has been a good reality-check when things get tough and I think about maybe walking away. Because even when things get hard, I still want to be with him. If you’re “meh” about this guy – or you’re “meh” about each other – move on. Especially because, as the previous poster said, all indications are that neither one of you is more important to the other person than your jobs. That doesn’t bode well.

Thanks for this. I dont have kids yet but I want them, and I like so often I only hear the bad aspects of being a parent, and how hard it is.