Comments on: What Not to Wear To… a Black-Tie Affair

By: Stefanie

Stefanie — Fri, 13 Sep 2013 22:43:30 +0000

I know this is an old thread, but I feel I must comment for anyone who may reference it. “Black Tie” does NOT mean you must wear a black dress!!! It is merely the description of the level of formality for the gentlemen. Any sophisticated color will do — leave the neon for prom-queens and pageant contestants. Here is a guideline for women:

WHITE TIE: This is the most formal. You generally will not see this outside of State Dinners, very formal Charity Balls, or very, very formal large weddings. Gentlemen must wear White Tie, meaning a black tailcoat, black trousers, white pique tie, shirt, and vest. No exceptions. (This is what the gentlemen wear for dinner on the show “Downton Abbey”) LADIES: Ladies should wear a formal, full-length gown… this is your night to break out your finest jewelry too! A cocktail dress will be too casual.

BLACK TIE: This is one step down from White Tie. Gentlemen wear a tuxedo. They have a bit more freedom here as to color, tie-style, etc., depending upon the tone of the event. A younger, more fun crowd, do a colored bowtie or a long “European” tie (think of the guys who attend the Oscars), if it is a work event, you can never go wrong with black tux, white tuxedo shirt, black bow tie. (Hey, it works for James Bond!) LADIES: You have more leeway too! You are invited to wear a long evening gown, or you may choose a very formal cocktail dress. Fabulous accessories are a must. If you are going for a cocktail dress, your go-to LBD may not be formal enough. Think embellishment, even if subtle. There have been some gorgeous lace dresses recently that would be perfect paired with your most fabulous stilettos and formal jewelry. Leeway does not make the choice easy, so never hesitate to contact someone in the know (a friend who has attended the event before, an event organizer, etc.) and ask them.

BLACK TIE OPTIONAL: Gentlemen are invited to wear their tuxedos, or they may wear a formal, dark suit. Black/grey/navy. Keep the accessories elegant (tie, pocket square, cufflinks). LADIES: You may wear a simple long gown or a fabulous cocktail dress. You can be a bit more playful and creative here. Same advice for asking someone in the know!

COCKTAIL ATTIRE: Men in dark suits. LADIES: this is what the cocktail dress was made for. No long gowns tonight! Keep it dressy and chic. A sedate skirt and top will not be dressy enough. It should feel a bit special.

WITHIN THESE GUIDELINES, CHOOSE YOUR OUTFIT TO FLATTER YOU AND MAKE YOU FEEL YOUR BEST!
Remember two bits of advice from Coco Chanel:

“Look for the woman in the dress. If there is no woman, there is no dress.”

“Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.”

By: Sam

Sam — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:10:27 +0000

I agree with all of this advice except the color black. If this is a client mixer if you wear anything but black you will stand out and that is a good thing. Get a conservative cocktail/formal dress in a dark color, think eggplant, forest green, even navy or a gray and you will stand out, in a good way, from the crowd.

By: Res Ipsa

Res Ipsa — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:26:34 +0000

Yasmin: I would have said the reverse re: manicures. When I lived in southern California, _everyone_ got manicures (and pedicures) –or acrylics. Here on the East Coast, most of the women I know don’t get regular manicures (or if they do, it’s a pale/neutral color)

By: S

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 02:10:53 +0000

totally good advice re: the manicure! also good advice to when in doubt just wear a black dress. i was recently talked out of wearing a conservative long gown to an nyc event that was billed as black tie, and boy was i glad. the men all wore tuxes, but almost NONE of the women wore gowns: lbds all the way.

By: Yasmin

Yasmin — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 00:13:12 +0000

Could the nails thing be an east coast/west coast difference? I feel like painted nails are more of an east coast thing whereas women can get away with nicely buffed nails on the west coast.

For that matter, the question of floor length (east coast) or cocktail length (west cost) is also regional, no?

By: lorrwill

lorrwill — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 23:40:31 +0000

Our holiday party is black tie but I work with people with no concept of what that means.

T, I never polish my nails in the traditional sense. Like you I keep them short, and neat. For polish I use a 2 sided nail buffer. They are inexpensive, easily found at any drugstore, and do not tear up your nails like polish and/or fake nails can.