Personally, I think that with this shift, now Trump really suffers in comparison, and he is sealed in now that the Republican convention is over. The timing could be I hope Trump and Harris debate, with the same ground rules as the earlier debate.

This is a big thing in medicine. Male doctors are far more likely to be called “Dr. Lastname” whereas female doctors are more likely to be called “Firstname” or maaaaaybe “Dr. Firstname”.

I’m sorry for the passive aggressive comments you have to endure.
In general, I do think the driving should be equally split, but the exceptions would be when one person has moved away from their hometown (they should visit more), and when the people in question are parent and child (children should visit more). Maybe its my Asian heritage showing but I think it’s ok to make the effort a little more as gratitude to your parents, flawed and sometimes bad parents as they may be.
So I would say, grit your teeth, go for a limited time (an hour?), and promise yourself a treat afterwards, whether a local coffee shop or a new book or an outing to a place nearby that you love. You can set an approximate level like once a month, and a time limit, and just do it.

Some people just don’t want to face that it’s real, and seeing the actual funeral hammers that home irrevocably. I can speak from experience that seeing the coffin and seeing the grave is awful, wrenching, and puts images in your head you can’t ever erase. It takes a lot of internal strength to force yourself if you know what’s coming, honestly.

I relate so hard. I’ve talked to my mom many times about how unpleasant she makes the visits, but it doesn’t seem to sink in. She’s a fearful, anxious person and doesn’t want to actually leave the house when I visit, but also a poor cook and has disordered eating so I’m always miserably hungry. Over the years it’s gotten incrementally better and I now stay at a hotel, but she also harps on me about my siblings not visiting as if I can do anything to change that!

The only thing I can suggest is low effort “supplementary” things. I know cards mean a lot to her so I do cards for every occasion, we do Zoom calls and emails and texts. I mail her ‘just because’ gifts on occasion. It seems to help, but the bottom line is there’s a generation of women who made their entire identity about raising the most “marketable” women to the marriage market (barf!) and they have so much fear about not succeeding there (so hence remarks about weight–what is Provider Husband leaves because you’re not perfect?!?!) and believe that you are an extension and reflection of them (which to be fair isn’t 100% wrong with their peers).

I own the FutureSkin and it’s incredible. Bare Minerals I have found breaks me out, and is too peachy and warm and overall sparkly for me (most products) plus it just doesn’t have that indefinable “something” that makes a product a HG. The FutureSkin was touted as the foundation used on Euphoria’s cast for a natural skin like finish and yep, I was influenced. It’s very lightweight but basically gives a “your skin but better/lit from within” vibe.